So after a thorough cost counting and evaluation, the conclusion is the same.  Not enough.  What happened?  Did I mess up somewhere along the way?  Did I spend money on something I shouldn’t have?  Be that as it may, I had enough, just barley, before I gave Don that $20.  Now, I am $20 short-plain and simple.  Trying to hear and obey the voice of God can be a bit tricky.  Not because he makes it so, I do.  I second-guess, cross-examine my motive, think things out to the max, just go nuts.  Is it his obligation to help me at this moment?  No, I don’t think so.  This is a small amount of money and there are far worse situations to be in, but all kinds of questions are in my mind.  I could have just made it up and attributed the whole thing to, “God told me so.”  There are all sorts of problems here.  Or are there?  Maybe I should go another way.  Setting out on the cold interstate as the sun goes down when the weather forecast shows 8 degrees in southwest Michigan, where I am going, without enough gas to make it might be idiotic.  Should I just make the call to any one of at least 10 people right here in this town who would hand me a $50 and just say, “Don’t worry about it, man.  Be safe on the way home.”  Never!  I have to ride this thing out.  Wait! …the thought hits me that I just might have a credit card in my bag that I’ve been meaning to cancel.  Now this is Nashville and the anti-debt, finance guy, Dave Ramsey is everywhere.  His face seems to be on every billboard, his voice on every radio station.  I hear his words, “Attack! Attack! Attack!”  as he cuts credit cards in half with a scissors.  The conviction is there that using a credit card is the same as asking in this situation.  Crap!  So, being the rock of resolve that I am, I leave my stuff at the table in Starbucks and head for the car to check my bag for the card.  I open the door and reach for the bag, unzip the pocket where the card might be.  Nothing! I knew it.  This is the exact reason I don’t bring the card anywhere and I guess it’s better anyway.  I think I’ll just start driving.  Who cares.  I’m tired of this.

But wait!  What?  My eyes nearly pop out of the sockets when they land on what’s in the adjacent pocket.  Could it be?  I am standing there looking at at least one $20 bill folded over what could be others!  Frantic and unbelieving, I unzip the pocket and count, 20, 40, 60, and 5.  $65!  Get out! Really?!   Did I forget I put it there?  Not a chance.  Someone put $65 in my bag!  I shove the cash in my pocket like I have just stolen something and head back into the coffee shop.  I’m ecstatic.  One minute, I am examining theological problems with how I have put myself into a ridiculous predicament and the next it all goes away and I’m set.  I can even get something to eat on the way.  Wow!  Once back inside, I can hardly contain myself.  I want to lean over and kiss the girl who is studying next to me!  I decide not to though.

It’s not even the money itself.  I’m happy about the fact that I actually heard God right.  That’s that deal.  Even as I tried for the credit card and essentially failed the test, God is faithful.  Unbelievable.  Ok, so who put the money there?  Well, God did, but who did he work through?  It had to be Jeremy.  I text and ask.  He denies it and says, “No, not me.  Maybe it was Jesus. …or Linc, or Don?”  It text Linc.  “No man, not me.”   They were the only ones who were around that bag and could have done it.  Well, maybe Don.  Haha, funny.  I gave him money and he gave it right back with interest.  I call to thank him.  “No man, but I should have.  Haha.”   What?   He suggests Jonathan back in Memphis.  Could I really have had it with me the whole time?  That would be too much.  I ring Jonathan and he denies it.  I tell him the story just so he knows how handy it came in and how awesome God is for operating like that and letting us be a part of it.  He changes the subject and tells me to get focused on the road ahead and not to get in a wreck because the weather is crazy up north.  I think I know what he’s doing.  Jonathan has been in YWAM for years and has heard every teaching on giving there is.  To be honest, I don’t even care who did it.  God did and I won’t be the one to steal the reward  from one of these guys, whoever it was.

“But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

-Matthew 6:3-4

* I do have to mention that the money I am receiving for the YWAM school in New Zealand is being sent straight there for much the same reason the credit card was not with me.  God is good!